Is it Wednesday already? This last week has disappeared in a manic blur. How has it been for you? It only feels like yesterday that I hit send on Sitting In The Mess; an essay which has had more than 32 replies in the first few days of being published.

​At work, we're preparing more community engagement with indigenous communities in various parts of Australia, which has seen us knee-deep in thinking, planning and carefully considering how we show up. This has had me thinking about the spaces we hold and the rules we place within them.

We've often heard that the role of a leader, a good researcher and facilitator is to create a safe space for participants, and we take for granted the definition of what constitutes safety for you, and I, and every other person within the spaces we create.

We take for granted the very basic rules we often see in the many spaces we occupy in our working lives; workshops, meetings, forums, panels, conferences and the like. These rules, often assumed and many times presented as the state-of-play, do more to silence the marginalised and quieter voices in a space that really isn't as 'safe' as it makes out to be.

Should we agree to disagree and not to take things personally so in turn, we can reinforce the existing power structures within the space, and ensure that those people with the power hold onto it?

Or should we leave our egos at the door and bring some other version of ourselves into the room which lacks authenticity, ideas, emotion, self-esteem and compassion? Some of the basic building blocks of our ego.

Shall we stick to the facts and turn down the volume of the mess, contradiction, confusion and wonder of our lived experiences?

Should we agree that everyone is equal even though one person grew up playing tennis every Saturday, another arrived by boat, and another hasn't summed up the courage to tell their employer that they're gender-transitioning for fear of losing their job?

Or, shall we stay positive so we can shut down anyone who brings up discrimination, oppression, politics, racism, sexism and anything else that has not been the experience of those with power and privilege?

Safe Spaces, although well-intentioned are however often ill-architected. Reinforcing and calibrating themselves to keep those with power in positions of power, and keeping those without it, in their place.

Safe Spaces hinder authentic dialogue, debate and constructive, healthy discourse — in turn, hindering our ability to learn from one another and prioritising comfort over growth.

However, Brave Spaces provide for us an idea and a framework, where we can genuinely engage with one another with all the mess and contradictions of our lives show up as our authentic selves, and ensure with this discomfort comes the necessary ingredients for us to grow.

Brave Spaces challenge those with power and privilege to be aware of that power and that privilege.

They acknowledge our discomfort and recognise that dialogue within it and about it often involves a little risk and difficulty — and this should not only be acceptable within the spaces we design, but necessary.

Brave Spaces encourage authentic engagement, open discourse that fosters an environment where everyone is encouraged to engage truthfully and deeply with challenging topics that allow us to walk through conflict, rather than avoiding it.

Brave Spaces focus us on our accountability and responsibilities for our own behaviours and intentions, and the impact of our words and actions. They frame our disagreements as natural and healthy, rather than an intrusion or something to be avoided.

Within a Brave Space, people understand the difference between an attack and a challenge; and above all they encourage something so very important for all of us to consider when we enter into a space as a leader.

The importance of compassion, the health of showing our emotions and how critical it is to reflect.

To examine our biases, privileges and areas of growth.

To write our thoughts down from time to time and sometimes, share them with others.

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First published in The Weekly Journal of Creative Leadership.